I thought I’d sit down this morning and write out what’s been happening lately, to update, but mostly just to complain and then tell myself I shouldn’t be complaining and should look at the positives, but right now I just want to complain.
If you are familiar with routine pregnant mumbo jumbo then you know between weeks 24 and 28 you take a glucose tolerance test to screen for gestational diabetes. Everyone dreads this, and talks about how awful it is. I went in prepared for something terrible, but honestly the 1 hour wasn’t so bad. The only terrible thing is that I failed the 1 hour, by 2 points, and was told I had no option but to take the 3 hour. Now that one sucks! But you do what your doctor asks, don’t complain and hope that everything goes well. Then you get your results back and you failed, big time. They slap you with a diagnosis of gestational diabetes, whisk you into appointments with a dietitian and endocrinologist, but before doing that they let you sit for a day without any call or instructions, just the note “Gestational Diabetes, see Joslin Center for Diabetes”. I spent the entirety of that day crying, mostly because I couldn’t get any answers to the million questions I had and Dr. Google was of no help (seriously though, if you get diagnosed with gestational diabetes, DO NOT Google your questions, it will scare you so much that you are afraid to consume anything because too high of sugar automatically equals a still born child). In retrospect my doctors office could have handled it a bit better than they did.
Anyway I met with the dietitian and went over what I normally eat in a day, to which she said she wished all of her patients ate the way I did. See I wasn’t eating unhealthy before being pregnant, and then once I was I started to really try, so when I got the diagnoses I was super upset because I didn’t know what I was doing wrong or what could change. In my head I was already being as healthy as I could, and according to the dietitian I was right, the only change now is that I can’t give into any of my cravings.
That is what really sucks. I am 32 weeks pregnant, and the only thing I’ve been craving is carbs. All of them. Bread, pasta, french fries, mashed potatoes. I could eat them all day every day, yet now I am on a strict low carb diet which means I can’t just eat them whenever I want them. Honestly it has been super annoying during meal times because now I have to count out everything, make sure I have enough calories to keep me alive, but no more than X amount of carbs or else my glucose will get too high. I’m exhausted and good days mean the dishes got done, the last thing I need is meal time to be hungry and not being able to just open the pantry and grab a snack. I just want to open my fridge when I am hungry and eat, not measure out 2 oz of whole wheat pasta, make sure there is enough protein to off set the carbs, and throw in enough free foods to make sure I am getting all of my nutrients. I’m getting annoyed with meal planning, finding meals to make, and bored with the same rotation. Breakfast is the worst. I have yet to find anything besides peanut butter on toast that keeps me full and doesn’t spike my sugar. I hate eggs, like ban them from my house unless I am baking hate, so my protein options for the morning are limited. And I can’t have juice anymore, or fruit whenever I feel like it, bananas have been banned because they contain too many carbs, and all forms of cereal are taboo. I have a box of mini wheats in the cupboard just looking sad and desperate to be eaten.
Like I said, I wasn’t eating unhealthy before, but I didn’t think too hard about wanting a fun sized snickers or M&Ms. So when all of your treats and typically healthy options suddenly are taken away from you because of the carb content, you get really angry really fast at meal time. So that’s whats been going on. I made peanut butter on toast for breakfast for the 19th day in a row, and fought back tears because today it all just seems unfair.
:: Pray I make it through these last 8 weeks, and that both me and baby continue to be healthy!